That Face

Hello my mini me.

I could stare at your face all day long.

On a daily, actually hourly sometimes minute by minute you steal my heart and I just fall in love with you all over again.

With every single breath you take I fall more in love with the little human God entrusted me with.

It has been too long since I have written to you. Our days our full... full of love and messes and dancing and cuddles.

You had a wonderful first year of pre-school, you started learning your colors and making your first friends. You were such a doll to watch sing and perform the songs you learned. You LOVE to dance and perform.

You were considered the Mother Hen in class, which is pretty darling since you are the second born and Halen is always trying to mother you.

I have been calling you my baby since the moment I met you and mommy is having a hard time with your growth. My heart hurts and blazes with love all at the same time with each milestone you greet.

The latest is you are now officially in a big girl bed. You are THREE. I still cannot wrap my head around my baby being 3 years old. But here you are in all your silly, unique, gorgeous glory.

You have always been my dream sleeper, even now with more freedom in a big girl bed. Thank you for being my easy child.

One of my favorite moments each morning is to walk up to your room and snuggle with you in your bed before you are fully awake. I wrap my body as close to yours as possible and listen to your breath. I stare at your precious face that I just want to capture in my mind forever and ever.

Henley Charlevoix, God knew exactly what he was doing when he created you and placed you into our life. You make my days shine, you teach me so much and I am forever grateful to be your mommy.

I know the best is yet to come... your baby stages were some of my favorite experiences in the entire world. I would go back and live through your pregnancy, birth and growth any second if God allowed me. Maybe in Heaven he will grant me the chance to re-live those perfect moments again. I am grateful that you are still my toddler, with chunk and spunk. You will always be my baby and I pray every day that God will help me guide you toward his light and we can stay close as ever forever.

I love you my Henny Hen!

Love Always,

Mama

First Day of Pre-School

Dear Henny,

My blue-eyed babe. We have spent every single day together for the past two years. Stuck like glue. On my hip, in a carrier, holding my hand, by my side.

And the day has come for you to start school. Every time we pass Bethany School you say, "Halen's school!" Now you will join your big sister there darling.

I know you will have an amazing time, I know you are ready. I am ready for you to start this new chapter, but it is still bittersweet for mommy.

You are going to soar this year, you will learn your colors, numbers, how to be in a classroom, you will make friends and finally gain some independence from being the little sister in our house.

I am so proud of you bright baby of mine. From the day you were born you have been our little ray of sunshine. You smile every single morning when I get you out of your crib, and every single time I get you up from nap.

My happy happy baby. May this be the beginning of your scholarly journey. The key is awaiting for you to unlock the possibilities life has for you.

Jesus has woven a special gift into your soul and I am so excited for you to discover what that is. Jesus loves you so much and will nurture you every step of the way. 

Happy First Day of Pre-School Henley Charlevoix.

I love you more than every stay in the Rocky Mountain sky, more than every grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

Love,

Mommy

Mama’s Love

Do you know how much you mean to me Henley Charlevoix?

You mean the world. You were sent by God to be my wings, my arrow who reminds me of what is most important.

I love you more than every grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes, more than every star in the Rocky Mountain sky.

God knew we needed you and he blessed us with you.

The past two years have been the best of my life, with you in it.

I love your golden hair, your eyes like the deep blue sea, I love your snuggles, I love your skin and how sweet you are. I love your compassion and how much you are starting to talk. I love your love for your blankie and your dance moves. I love your rock collecting skills and your love for pockets. We have a connection deeper than any human being Henley. You were my buddy when we started this journey. I am ever grateful for you baby girl.

Always be kind Henley, strive for greatness, always find a way to serve others, befriend the weak, the small, the timid, the harsh, the forgotten. When you are lost seek Jesus, he will point you in the weight direction. Be humble. Be grateful for all the blessings you have. Your sister is your best friend and your daddy is your prince. YaYa is always there for you. Aunt Dana and auncle darwn are your god parents they promised to guide you and love you always.

You’re my Henny Hen. My sweet bucket of sunshine. You bring my hearty the greasiest joy.

I love you I like be you I love you be you.

Mama

Conversations with our 2 year old, Henny

May 24, 2018: “Night night hair cut, night night hair cute. Night night hair.” After you had your first hair cut. 😂

May 25, 2018: “God bless you!” “I love you a bushel peck, hug neck!” In the car...so cute.

June 1, 2018: You say, “stop it,” to everything now... it’s pretty funny. Like I say, Henley time to go to bed. And you say, “Stop it Mommy.” 😂

June 13, 2018 “No ma’am daddy, you go timeout.” In the car while camping ⛺️ so funny!

June 15, 2018: “I not sleep in there, my pillow’s not working.” About taking a nap in our tent in Indiana...it was hot and we were sweaty. Lol.

June 28, 2018: YaYa arrived to Aunt Jennifer’s and she gave you big kisses where she “gobbles” you up and you said, “Eat me YaYa!” So funny,

July 6, 2018: “I have to go work on my car now.” You are so busy and so talkative these days, I wish I could record your voice all the time.

Mommy's Mastectomy

Henley girl-

I am not sure if you'll remember anything mommy has been through, or our family has been through this year...today mommy has a mastectomy. This is phase two of mommy's battle with cancer.

I want you to know how much I love you. You are such a joy to me, each day you bring warmth to my heart. I am so proud of the toddler you are becoming, talkative, strong-willed, gentle, and playful. I love rocking you to sleep, and the sweet time we get just us. And I love seeing you and your sister playing together.

It may take mommy some time to recover, please be patient with me. I will cuddle you as soon as I can and continue rocking you to sleep shortly. We'll have a lot of family in town for Thanksgiving to help, and play with you girlies.

I love you baby girl.

Love,

Mommy

Mommy's Hair is growing back!

Mommy is about to end phase one of this challenging year. My hair is proof we are almost done with chemo, my hair is growing back!

I will have three weeks between the end of chemo and surgery where I am excited to have fun with my family. I want to eat pumpkin pancakes, go to the park, snuggle in our jammies on the couch, laugh on a hike, eat a picnic lunch in the front yard or at the park, have friends over for dinner, dance on the pack porch, bake an apple pie, go to a pumpkin patch, enjoy each other.

You have been such a blessing to me during my treatments. You love me unconditionally regardless of the hairs on my head, the hairless eyelashes and eyebrows, the tiredness in my body. You see me as mommy, and I absolutely love it. You keep me going, you push me forward, I am able to step outside my cancer, my fear and be a mom. I get to laugh, cook, play, teach, read, snuggle, dance, sing and be with my babies.

Thank you my darling baby for loving me so much. Thank you for being my daughter.

Mommy loves you so much.

Summer 2017

This summer has not been an easy one on our family. Especially for you, so many changes have been happening. I had to crash wean you from breastfeeding shortly after your first birthday. I was thankful you were 12 months, but I was sad because you nor I were ready to wean. But, God had a bigger plan for us, so I had to listen.

We moved back into our house and have been laying low. We play a lot in our playroom, go on walks, go to the park, go to the pool and have some playdates. You have been able to play with Ellie, Vivienne, and Jensen...I love watching you be social! Mommy has loved being home with you, watching you grow. You have your own baby babble language that I adore. You look right into my eyes and tell me exactly what is on your mind, even using hand gestures sometimes.

You wake up around 8:00 a.m. everyday, we have breakfast...you love eggs and blueberries, then we play or go on a walk. We have a snack...you love bananas (especially the baby ones), we play some more and then make lunch...we have noodles, grapes, chicken, etc. Then it is nap time, you love your sound machine and I have been putting on your diffuser lately with lavender to help you sleep, you snuggle your blanket and your num num and fall asleep quickly. When you wake up from nap, you usually have thrown everything out of your crib and when I open the door you quickly tell me, "Uh oh!" And point to all you've thrown out. So cute. We go wake up sister, go downstairs to get a snack...freeze dried bananas, dried cherries, peaches or cheese. Then we play some more...you are getting so independent and definitely strong enough to tell your sister when you want to play for something. It makes me proud when you stick up for yourself. Then daddy comes home and we make dinner...chicken or ground turkey with peas, many veggies and rice or beans. You love pretty much any food and are constantly signing for more. You also sign when you are all done. We clean up, maybe take a bath, get in jammies, play, watch a show or movie, drink milk and then I take you up to bed. I put on your sound machine and I rock you for a few minutes. I love looking at your baby blue eyes, and watching you fall asleep.

You're my pumpkin pie. My Henny Hen, my bubby baby. I love hearing your baby language, watching you run around and play independently, I love seeing you in your diaper...that chunky soft baby skin.

I just can't get enough of you. You run to mama when you see me, and it makes my heart swell. Sometimes I wish you could stay my baby forever. But I know only the best is yet to come.

Love,
Mama