My Koala Bear

Hi sweetheart,

I wanted to write you because one day you may come across a picture or hear a story about your mama from this chapter in our lives. So I wanted to talk to you about it myself. Mommy was diagnosed with breast cancer the day after your first birthday. It was completely unexpected. It hit mommy and daddy like a ton of bricks. My first thought was about you girls, my world. I wanted you to be okay.

Over the last two weeks, daddy and I have been through so many appointments, met with different doctors, had different tests done and mommy will be starting chemotherapy on Thursday, June 8th, 2017. I may look different and act a little different. But it is so important that you know how much mommy loves you and how I as your mommy need to focus on being well this year. This medicine will make the cancer go away, so that mommy can laugh, play, travel and be with our family.

It has been rough the last few weeks because mommy has had to crash wean you from nursing and you nor I were ready. Tears have been shed along with sleepless nights, but I think we are through the worst of it. As I was rocking you to sleep tonight, you clung to me like a little koala bear and I absolutely adore it. You are the wings to my soul Henley Charlevoix, you remind me that our arrow points due North to our Lord and Savior. This past year has been an absolute delight. I love watching you grow and learn. I love your chunky baby body, so perfect and healthy and happy. We have the closest bond and I am so nervous about how that will be over the next year. I do not want to miss out, but I know that I must focus on this so that I can be there the next 60 years of your life.

So please forgive me if mommy sleeps in late, please forgive me for not being there to rock you to sleep or make you your dinner. Please forgive mommy for not having much energy to play. But I promise you on my good days, I will laugh, I will kiss you all over, I will make you a snack and I will snuggle you before bed. You are my sunshine Henley. Thank you for always making my heart swell, for filling up my cup, teaching my how love prevails and smiling is the best medicine.

Love,

Your mama